At 28, I'm Still Learning

In less than 24 hours from now, I will be 29 years old, and will celebrate this birthday as a late-twenties guy in Afghanistan (again). For some reason I am not too excited about it. Perhaps, it is because I knew that it would be just another day of work – with a long meeting at night (Tuesday nights suck – big time), or I’ve been through a lot of celebrations not too long ago that I feel this one’s just going to be "normal". 

Well, perhaps the latter is an easy guess, especially for those who personally know me. The past year have been a year of ups and downs, yet despite the roller coaster ride, I think I’ve received one of the most important blessings in my life (if not the most). I’ve been married to the most beautiful woman in the world, Mrs. Rodelyn Javier. We had a beautiful celebration which was followed by an unforgettable honeymoon (I’m posting pictures below). And as I’ve written in my past blog entries, she is my inspiration for everything that I do now. After getting married, I think no more words can describe how much I love her (at least not those that can be described by all the creativity that I have). I love her – and the rest goes unwritten. 

The year 2012 also saw me and my then fiancée travelling to places we’ve never been to. We went to Kuala Lumpur in May, then Coron, Palawan for the 2^nd part of our prenuptial photo session, and then to Lucban, Quezon (I’ve been there a couple of times but it was the first time with her). However, most of the year was spent on wedding preparations that proved to be exhausting but rewarding.

In October, we’ve celebrated Dad’s first death anniversary. I do not know if celebration is a good word, but I know my Dad was happy when we sang his favorite songs during this karaoke party we held in our childhood house. 

Then, there’s this animosity I had in one of my present endeavors. Though for many years I have tried to hang on to it dearly, for almost nothing in return, I couldn’t bear the pain of my hands continuously getting scalded. The year 2012 have thought me so much, one of them is to know that people change - and that not all people can reciprocate what you have done for them -  and that sometimes you think you know them, but – oh well, you don’t. Well it was a bittersweet moment to know that I’m letting go just to have that freedom and peace of mind, and yet realizing how much time and hard-earned money I have wasted dreaming, with unfortunately, people who didn’t dream the same dream I did. I got tired of the drama. It was going nowhere. I had to let go. 

Yet, looking on the bright side – and practically the best lesson I have learned – is that some friends would come and go, while others would pretend that they are, but  my wife and my family would never ever leave me behind – no matter what. And sadly, now, I feel that they are the only persons that I can fully trust, persons who would never deceive me, and persons who would love me – unconditionally. I thank them for understanding me during the times I had been misled and blinded. 

 Plus I've got married with the most beautiful woman in the world, it was an a+++mazing feeling! Now, I have forgotten about everything else, ha ha!

This year, my request to be transferred to Dubai was approved. So apparently, I’m going to live with my wife now. And of course, live normally. Gone are the Skype calls, kisses on computer monitors, and exposure to UV rays while sleeping (as we would always leave our computers open till we sleep). I will get to be with my wife which I consider a great blessing. I have been blessed countless times these past years, and I do hope that I get to share these blessings with the people I love, and the people who are truly in need. 

Now, I'm ready to be 29. Thank you Lord.

My beautiful wife.

Oh yeah, that's me...

The Ceremony in Fernwood Gardens Chapel

By the Cliff in Bali

For a moment, i thought she was the star of Eat, Pray, and Love

We were like these love birds (or parrots - love parrots.. )

 

Yes, this is a snapshot of a romantic film in Bali

Are Filipinos OA?

Ok, Singaporeans are the least likely in the world to experience emotions of any kind. Well, guess what? Filipinos are the most emotional.

Photo grab from www.gallup.com

According to a survey by www.gallup.com , 60% of our population feels either positive or negative emotions on a daily basis, not to mention surges of angst against any pro-RH bill senators, or disapproval of an English-speaking agitated college student who went bonkers in an MRT Station. We are almost always affected by what’s happening around us, and we tend feel these emotions that tend to elicit these reactions that make us feel so ever important - and moral - and righteous – and proud - and discriminated – and God knows what. We even have this thing called ‘tampo’, which until college days, I didn’t know that an English term “sulk”, would have almost identical (if not equal) meaning, and believed that we Filipinos are the only ones in the entire world that can feel this. So much for my patriotism.

So, do I feel happy about this survey or do I feel bad? Or should I feel anything about it at all?

I am working for the same company for more than 5 years now, and during this period, I’ve met and will continue to meet a lot of people from different countries, not just the US. I can name the country where each one of them came from, like I’m reading the back of my hand, even if for this purpose, I assume we all speak the same language. I can tell which one is British, who’d probably give the most number of pouted lips in every conversation and would call potato chips, “crisps”. South Africans would always address you Sir and begin each sentence with “Alright”. Middle –east people would consider you their “friend” even if you just met them. An Indian would nod sideways when he says yes.

Then, a Filipino (make his hair blonde and his accent Californian) would have been silent, said yes sir/mam occasionally, then come up to me and tell me that somebody threw him outside the bus during a recently concluded meeting and that he’s now planning to resign.

Filipinos are happy with their uncooked fish (kilawin), but then there's 

the Japs and their sushi. 

And then you’ll learn that he had no intentions of leaving. It probably was a joke. Or that he changed his mind. Right.

From my perception of how a Filipino handles each kind of situation as compared to how other nationalities do it, I have concluded that most Filipinos are shy to show their true feelings to the other people they feel that feeling towards to (get that?). And although shyness is inarguably, an emotion, Filipinos tend to hide their other emotions under this cloak, that a lot – believe me – consider as even a positive trait that should be part of the Filipino identity. I’m not saying that this includes everybody. I’m just saying, most of my fellow countrymen I have observed are like this. And in reality, this can either be amplified by a myriad of factors that may include fear, past experiences, inability to communicate assuredly, or just trying to jive with the rest of the group.  Whatever factor is applicable, shyness overcomes our other emotions, if not hide them. And given such predicament, I wonder how this survey would prove true to Filipinos, should my perception be correct, if only one type of emotion is prominent, among others.

Alright, I may have a big fallacy here because I only tackled one type of situation a Filipino may be in (forgive me for I spend a cycle of 90 days in Kabul, mostly in our villa with officemates). Or that I may have only been thinking of a few experiences with a few people who cannot even be gathered as a sample population size for our residential subdivision, let alone a nation. And you may even say that I’m just describing myself. And maybe you’re right, so I would steer away from this so called “shyness”.

Although, I didn’t say that that’s the only emotion we, Filipinos, feel.

I don't know if I should laugh or shiver.
Matutina from pep.ph

For we also feel anger, as when Terry Hatcher’s character in the series ‘Desperate Housewives’ seemingly insulted our doctors who “graduated from some med school in the Philippines”. We feel discriminated, as when Lucy Liu said she doesn’t want to get dark and look a little Filipino (as if she is literally belittling Filipinos, geez?!) Sometimes, we feel glorified as a lovable and uber-talented race, as when Jessica Sanchez, a half-Mexican, half-Filipina, born in California, and who had never been to the Philippines until last September, went into the American Idol Finals. Oh, by the way, we felt cheated as a nation when she didn’t win. And finally, though I can name some more, some feel proud when we hear the word “Philippines” in an international newscast, no matter how depressing the news is, even if it’s about some 50 journalist buried alive by some demonic politician who’s trying to cling to his post, all because name of our country “get mentioned” somehow.

But these feelings are all about other people. These feelings are all about what’s happening in our environment. These feelings are catalyzed by news, hearsays, and more often than not, bandwagons. And sometimes, we react in the most outrageous way imaginable. But what about the emotions that we  feel when we did something that is good, like if we, ourselves, and not some half-Pinoys, contribute to the good of the country, to our family, or even to our girlfriends? How do we show it? What about the emotions that we need to invoke when we think our bosses are rigging the company’s books, or if one of our friends is causing trouble to the community? Do we even care? What about asking for that position which you feel confident that you are more than qualified to take? Do you even have the courage to mention it between the lines?

Some may answer “yes”, or may not have any qualms about speaking up. But I bet, a lot would really just shut up and carry on with whatever they were doing. And though this silence would mean work time or study time not wasted, other people, believe me, would view it as a result of shyness. We, Filipinos, are not complacent but, we are also not aggressive.

And the sad part is – we often dwell into emotions that simply do not do us any good.  And we tend to depart from those emotions that will help us grow. Our reactions against our aggressors are posted not on bulletins nor formal letters, but on Facebook and Twitter – which, is the same venue where we post our rants against that #amalayer girl whose breakdown was, really, none of our fucking business! Unbelievable!

So the question: Are the Filipinos over –acting? My answer: In a very wrong way. 

from Pinoy-exchange.com